Hi brilliant friends—

 

Here it is….my Hello World! first blog post.  In case you don’t know me, let me introduce myself.  My name is Meg Walch.  I am a life and leadership coach who works with women who struggle with feeling good enough.  I work with women who are absolutely brilliant but they have a mean and nasty vocie that tells them they’re not good enough.  This, in turn, drives things like perfectionism, people pleasing, the need to control any and all situations (read: control freak) or they find themselves isolating themselves and avoiding others.

 

Anyone ever feel like that?  Can I get an “Amen”, if you’ve ever experienced this?  Well, this is how I lived my life for a very. long. time.

 

Everything I’ve learned through hours of training, coaching womenand being coached is this:

Everthing starts in your head.

 

And, wouldn’t you know that when I sat down to write this first blog post, I’ve got a stinky gremlin voice talking to me saying things like:

                  Your’re a terrible writer

                  You’ll never get it right so why even bother writing

                  This isn’t even an original idea so why would you blog about it.

(I wanted to write about how you can use power poses to help change your thoughts but I think that will another post.)  It’s important to park here on this nasty voice for this first blog post.

 

Here’s a couple of things you need to understand about the Mean Girls ™ voice that’s trying to talk incessantly and very loudly in your head.

 

1   We will always have a gremlin voice that wants to talk to us. 
Wait—what?  I know that sounds like the worst possible thing you could read.  It’s definitely a WTF inducing moment.  Be it’s important. The key is to understand that the gremlin voice is just one part of who we are. That’s good news for how to address it.

 

2.   Our gremlin voice is a part of us that’s trying to protect us.
Remember the saying, “With friends like that, who needs enemies?” That can be exactly how we feel about that nasty voice. In this case, the gremlin voice developed slowly over time as a way to avoid embarassment, guilt or to cover shame. Unfortunately, the gremlin voice is very good at translating everything into “I am” statements.  For example it takes the “I’ve never written a blog so I don’t know what I’m doing” and translates it into an “I am” statement…in this case “I’m a terrible writer.”

 

There’s a WHOLE lot more to the gremlin voice….but this is a good place to start. 

 

So…what do you do when you find yourself either talking smack to yourself OR if you find yourself in a perfectionist, people-pleasing, control freak spiral?

 

1) Write it down

It may seem like a pretty simple thing to do, but, trust me…..awareness is critical here!!  And simple doesn’t always mean easy.  We’ve been talking to ourselves for a very long time.  And it can be challenging to recognize how we’re talking to ourselves.  Shine a light on the things you’re saying to yourself.  Become aware of your self-talk. Here’s a hint:  If your statements are in “I am” format, you should make note of it.

Write it down. Keep a journal or use your notes section on your phone.  There’s something uniquely power changing when you put pen to paper. Being able to identify when it’s happening is a big step.

 

2) Kindness is the cure in 2 parts

Knowing this gremlin voice started as a way to protect you, the natural antidote is kindness and self-compassion.  Recognize that your protective instincts are strong here.  The cycle of not good enough driving behaviors which drives a gremlin voice is strongly rooted.  So, when you’re hearing Mean Girl ™, you simply say “Thanks for trying to protect me but, I’ve got it from here.”

 

People sometimes tell me it feels strange to do this at first.  But guess what? You’re talking to yourself all the time anyway. When you start having conversation between the different parts that make up the beautiful thing called YOU, it can feel strange.  Acknowledge it, chuckle about it, raise your eyebrows at it.  But try it.  See what happens.

 

The second thing to do is to ask yourself “What is the greatest kindness I can do, be or say in this situation.”  This single invitiation for kindness in the face of beating yourself up can feel uncomfortable and very vulnerable.  For some, it’s the first time they’ve ever thought to challenge the negative self-talk.  Kindness can be speaking in a more gentle tone to yourself.  It can be taking a break from what you’re doing.  It can be the realization that you need to start something completely different.  Kindness is unique to each individual.

 

This is EXACTLY what I did….and why my entire blog content changed.  Let me know what you thought of today’s post. Here’s to you!!  Keep shining, brilliants!!

Kindly,

Meg

PS  Are you interested in more information or do you feel like this struck a chord with you?  I set aside very limited number of slots to get acquainted.  Click here to grab one now!