I'll bet we know each other pretty well.
Does this sound familiar? A lot of the time you look around and think "My life is okay." Most people think you have it ALL together...in fact, they ask you how you keep it all together. But, you're tired...weary, even. I'm not talking about the I-need-a-vacation-so-I-can-sleep-and-clean-the-garage tired. I mean the kind of tired that comes from always trying to keep up the facade that "Life is great". You're on the hamster wheel of proving you're just fine. It's exhausting.
IT'S PERFECTIONISM. IT'S PERFORMING. IT'S PEOPLE-PLEASING. IT'S A MILE LONG "TO-DO" LIST. IT'S RUNNING...AND RUNNING...AND RUNNING...
Maybe you're even just a little resentful. And frustrated. And angry. And tired of trying to keep your shit together.
Before you think I've been spying on you, let me admit something. The truth is, I know this because I've been there. I spent my 20's, 30's and part of my 40's (yes, that's 25 years!!) doing all the things I described above. And, to be honest, I still work on these things every day.
I help high-achieving, smart women rediscover their brilliance.
Here's what happens:
Thoughts of "I'm not good enough"
drive behaviors like perfectionism,
people-pleasing, control freak,
avoiding and isolating.
And then, self-talk
turns to Mean Girl™.
And when self-talk is mean,
you think you're
not good enough.
And the cycle starts again.
We replace those behaviors with
Kindness and Courage
which lets you live a brilliant life.
I do this by creating a space where you can dive into the behaviors and the gremlin voice that whispers like a gong in your head. I'm the soft, kind, hard-as-steel half big sister, half bad-ass who won't let you get away with excuses anymore. I can do this because I used to be the woman described above. Plain and simple, I practice kindness and courage every. single. day.
It took a rock bottom moment for me to realize something had to change. I was in a job where the harder I worked, the less I got done. The more I put my perfectionist self into the job, the worse the job became. My hours went from 9am - 5pm to Midnight to 4pm. I didn't see my husband, I isolated myself from my friends, and my control freak, "my way or the highway" approach to parenting was leading to superficial relationships with my young adult children. My carefully constructed life was crumbling one brick at a time. The facade crumbled on the day I went to the post office to pick up a package that had been there for awhile. As I apologized and said I was doing my best, the worker looked me straight in the eye and said:
"Your best isn't good enough."
I went home and laid on the floor weeping, I knew something needed to change. I had been telling myself I wasn't good enough and someone else finally told me that too. If someone else could see it, it must mean everyone could see it. I wanted to curl into a ball and not move. And, then, I wanted to lash out and blame the person from the post office. But, I had a glimmer of a thought. I couldn't help but think there HAD to be more to this thing called life. I felt like my soul was withering. And yet, I had hope. It was this hope that had me asking God for help. It was more of a pleading to show me a different way.
The day I took 100% Response-ability for my life is the day I was done.
⇒ Done putting my own happiness in other peoples hand to decide. ⇐
⇒ Done trying to control other people. ⇐
⇒ Done with half-hearted, superficial relationships. ⇐
⇒ Done hating myself because I wasn't perfect. ⇐
I knew that in this moment of decision, my life would change.
But I needed help and support outside of my friends and family to do this.
I knew I couldn't DIY it on my own.
As I started this journey, I began to see there were women out there just like me. Maybe no one ever told them they weren't good enough but they were living every day like I had been: perfecting, proving, people-pleasing, controlling, avoiding, isolating. Not to mention the never ending parade of comparison to other women. Being convinced that every other woman had her shit together. Feeling like they would never be good enough so they kept on working harder at being perfect, proving, people pleasing... This was my life for 25 years.
The cycle never stops if you don't know any other way.
If you're still reading, and this is you,
Please know there is a better way.
It starts with how you talk to yourself--every day.
Perfectionism, people-pleasing, control freaking, avoiding and, isolation all start from the Mean Girl voice that is talking to you. What's your gremlin voice saying to you?
Hint: It can be very hard to hear what you're really to saying to yourself.
Once you start practicing kindness and courage--every day--your life will change.
Your life will change.
Looking for the official bio?
Meg created Your Brilliant Life coaching because she saw people struggling to find success in their personal and business life. She saw people struggling with the gremlin voice and limiting beliefs that caused them to struggle in all areas of their life.
She found that when you connect what’s going on in your life as a reflection of what’s going on in your mind, you can instantly change your life by changing your thoughts.
Trained and certified as a Coach by iPec (International Professional Excellence in Coaching) in the Energy Leadership process, a Master Practitioner in the Energy Leadership Index assessment and a member of the International Coaching Federation (ICF) Meg specializes in Life and Leadership Coaching. After a successful career as both a non-profit executive and corporate human resources professional, Meg began coaching with a mission to help people discover what they really, really want and then find out what’s getting in the way of making it happen. We then create the design to make it happen. Building accountability and benchmarks for success, the framework for living a brilliant life by design is created.
Meg carries boundless belief in the human potential for growth and discovery. Her purpose is fulfilled by helping others reveal theirs. The results are nurtured, empowered, successful and authentic leaders who live and lead consciously for the greatest impact.
Now for the “lite” version…pull up a chair so we can get to know each other!
In addition to coaching, I've been married to my husband, Chris, for 30 years. We have three adult children, an enthusiastic puppy and a cranky cat. Life is full of wonder and adventure. We find something to be grateful for in every situation and every single day!
I’m one of those eternal optimists. I’m the one who will find the bright shiny sided, silver lining in every situation. I love my rose colored glasses! I've worked HARD to be able to wear those rose colored glasses! I choose it every day with kindness and courage.
I’m a Facebook addict, a Twitter nerd and I'm learning my way around SnapChat. Just after my love of God is my love for my husband and family. It's so amazing to me to see what happens when I don't live my life according to those priorities!! I enjoy being creative which means my basement is full of half-completed projects that range from sweater sleeves to splashes of color on a canvas. My amazing husband has tried his fair share of truly awful food “experiments”.
In coaching, I have the honor of walking with you to rediscover your brilliance. One of the greatest gifts of being a coach is being allowed to hold a space for you to discover and ponder your values, your purpose, your mission and your success. Watching another person transform their life is an incredible privilege.